Feigned disinterest

... on a variety of topics.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

How to survive the Bird Flu

Take:

1 Sack of Rice
2 x 5 Gallon tanks
Some cans of food
Some Asprin (not Panadol - you'll die)
Some Ouzo (cheaper than Tamiflu - it's similar shit and more fun)
1/2 a pound of hash (you should be so lucky)
Some toilet paper
Alot of books
A tent, sleeping bag, toothbrush
Warm clothes
Your wife/girlfriend
Lots of vitamin C (like grams of the stuff)

And go somewhere where you won't meet anyone for at least 6 weeks.

Leave the cat and dog behind - be aware that when you return, if they are still alive, then they have probably got a taste for human flesh.

Good luck and don't stop at KFC on the way out.

How to survive the Bird Flu

Take:

1 Sack of Rice
2 x 5 Gallon tanks
Some cans of food
Some Asprin (not Panadol - you'll die)
Some Ouzo (cheaper than Tamiflu - it's similar shit and more fun)
1/2 a pound of hash (you should be so lucky)
Some toilet paper
Alot of books
A tent, sleeping bag, toothbrush
Warm clothes
Your wife/girlfriend
Lots of vitamin C (like grams of the stuff)

And go somewhere where you won't meet anyone for at least 6 weeks.

Leave the cat and dog behind - be aware that when you return, if they are still alive, then they have probably got a taste for human flesh.

Good luck and don't stop at KFC on the way out.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Well....

The nihilist debate ended. Suddenly.

The useless, pointless and absurd author never got round to rebutting my argument (which incidentally was so full of holes you could have called it a net. What is a net anyway? a bunch of holes tied together with string? or a whole bunch of strings separated by holes?).

Okay that was stupid.

Here's something else stupid. My Stella Maris post. Doh...! Wish I had gone and googled that one. Turns out (much to my embarrassment) that Stella Maris is in fact a rather common name - used for schools, resorts and religious instruction etc. all over the world. So much for me thinking it was ripped off a novel (Oh and I quoted the wrong one - just to make sure the egg was well and truly all over my face). So I hang my head in shame and stand in the corner for awhile.

...Dreaming of a better life when you could buy uncut bread from the supermarket, things were sold in glass bottles and budgie seed was a sought after commodity amongst the bohemians of this world...

Now. Onto something far more exciting. Quantum dimensional analysis.

The so called warm dimensions... numbers 6-11 or so I believe.

Five is the temperate zone..

1-4 are subject to temporal physics (although I believe thereis another temporal one further up (or down - depending on your point of view).

The old adage - to go out, go within holds true I think - the holographic field created by our individual brainwave patterns - and the influence the said field has on the quantum foam (with associated possibilities etc.) - is adjustable. To really explore the universe we need to go within - into the warmer dimensions rather than mucking around subject to the laws of spacetime.

The best thing is - we used to do this. But most of us have lost the knowledge or at least the knowledge of how to do it consciously. A few still can (they are generally living in the jungle shooting darts at each other).

Most can't.

The positive outcome from this state of events is that if we used to be able to do it then there is a possibility that we can do it again.

Indeed it should be encouraged.

Problem is... it is not in the puppet master's best interests (using that term lossely). 'Cause then they lose power and control. People might start saying to themselves 'hmmm.... there is unlimited energy and unlimited potential in these realms - no need for poverty or suffering. there is balance. What am I still doing here then?' and fuck off. And there goes the power for the puppet masters who seem to think that in order to exist they need to dominate...

Stupid is that stupid does.

I can't help thinking that the universe is an imbalance in the dimensional matrix (to plagarise a phrase). That the balance is in the potential, the probability, the possibility - the area between something and nothing. the fact that there is something creates an imbalance which the laws of physics are trying to correct.

I'll expand on this later.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Pointless and Absurd

Currently in a debate with a nihilist (who also happens to be a very good friend of mine) about life, the universe and the point of it all.

Check his blog out: pointlessandabsurd.blogspot.com.

I may be a scientifically educated and reasonably grounded person but I still think there has to be some sort of unpredictability and a SPARK OF THE DIVINE OUT THERE.

I've seen it and experienced it.

I'm differentiating from relgious experience and a belief in a monotheistic, polytheistic or whatever god though.

I just think the universe needs that sort of thing for balance. Or at least a tendency toward a balance.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Mixed metaphors

I heard quite possibly the silliest, yet most amusing mixed metaphor the other day... It is typically public service and really goes to show that most people don't actually listen to what they are saying when they open their mouths:

Here it is, ready?

Scene: a meeting with 7 people, discussing a series of initiatives and their requirements. After a short brainstorm, the facilitator says:

'Some great ideas, but lets make them more concrete so we can bounce them around a bit more...'

Uh huh. Concrete... bouncing.

Someone please show me a visual of what that would look like.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Pilgrims

Pilgrims seem to be the same the world over.... one eyed and generally pretty naive (unfortunate but often reflective of the faith they happen to represent).

The Australian ones suffered a similar fate to the US ones (well granted that they weren't actually pilgrims as such - more colonialists and criminals. Oh... hang on...).

I heard an amusing story the othewr day from an Aussie about his forebears.

Everyone knows about the issues the aussie settlers had with trying to plant and grow crops from home (although why someone would want to continue eating potatoes and brussel sprouts is beyond me - when they had an opportunity to start a whole new dietary tree... more suited to the local environment.). They damn near starved to death.

They were also so far up their own proverbials and lit with the fire of the lord that they thought it beneath them to ask the locals how they managed to feed themselves. And the locals weren't going to go out of their way and offer help given that they were hunted for sport.

They just thought 'dumbfuck whities' (or the aboriginal equivalent thereof) and continued on their way.

Understandable.

Anyway - for decades the Europeans couldn't figure out how to get over the Blue Mountains. Countless expeditions tried. All failed. Most died, either mindlessly wandering in the bush - lost, thirsty and starving or having fatal (and rather short and ugly) encounters with the wildlife.

Bummer.

Thing was - they kept walking up the valleys for miles, then they'd hit like a 200 foot cliff straight up with no conceivable way of getting over it (particularly if you are looking like an extra for Aguirre - Wrath of God.). They'd have to turn round and go all the way back. And it KEPT happening.

Meanwhile the indigenes were looking down at them from the ridgetops they had walked up (instead of the valleys) and wondering what the fuck the white guys were doing.... mon.

Finally some white fella figured it out. And the race was on.

Give the guy a medal.

Goes to show that Europeans have an achiilles heel that keeps biting them on the arse in times of trial - Arrogance and an overblown sense of their self importance.

And that's why the world is screwed.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Who ever said....

.... earth girls were easy?

huh?

who? tell me....

I nearly fell of the world the other night. It was a vision of majesty incarnate... deconstructed into constituent blocks. Quartered. Drawn and hung quietly in a corner.

A poetic discourse slowly steaming. Simmering on the verge of sight.

Bring on the virgins in their diaphonous gowns... giggling over scrawled notes thrust into their hands by angst ridden proto capitalists. A merging of form and word.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

FSM

Yes - it is true. There is a God. Or rather ...a Noodly Appendage.

http://www.venganza.org/

I like the idea of this so much I am going to put him on my car.

Maybe even the Michaelangelo rip-off on my bonnet...

George Wubbilda Boosh - should take lessons. Hey maybe we could convince him that his favourite book when he was a kid (read 20 year old) wasn't in fact: The Hungry Caterpillar - it was a short synopsis of the FSM's creative exploits in the Undyverse...

On another note: So what form of democracy is the US actually looking for worlwide? UCP? Unsustainable Corporate Psychopathy? 'Cause they sure as shit don't seem to care about what people vote for - next they'll start saying that the propoganda that the people of Palestine were fed during the campaign somehow overrode their common sense when voting - which is why Hamas were voted in.

That would open the floodgates.

It is a constant source of amazement to me how the US administration seems to be locked into the old - 'don't even listen to the stuff they are saying' routine - it is just a case of open the mouth and shit comes out. Contradictions abound, complete absurdity etc. etc. Self obsessed view of the world.

Still I guess you have to expect that from a nation that wasted millions of dollars sending a spacecraft to Mars - when it flew straight into it because SOMEONE forgot to convert imperial measurements to the metric standard.

I was reading a book called Why Civilisations Collapse the other day.

A well known scientist - a very cogent book.

Except for one statement made about evidence of scalping in Native American tribes circa 1200 Ad or so - even earlier perhaps.... Ummm.... other stuff I have read states that it was actually the Europeans who introduced scalping into the US - (the bloody Pilgrims... you know those god fearing people, (who frankly the Native Americans should have paid homage to Darwin and let starve on the seashore) who (in the name of a clearly psychotic individual if you read the bible with even a modicum of objectivity) fucked over the land, the people and the animals - in the name of progress and 'freedom'.) and not only did it to Indian warriors but their wives and their children... Which led to an 'arms' race of sorts....

Although to be fair an act like that is very likely to spring up independently in any warrior culture...